From the spellcheck-can't-help-you-here department:
Sure, you can get a cleaver for about $3. And it could reduce facial wrinkles. But it would also reduce your face.
As seen on the Washington Post website. Which, ironically enough, is also the place where I read last month about how the scam (you knew there was a scam) behind these ads works. Sort of pathetic that they're still running them.