Verizon and me

I've been slow with the blog posting for the last month or so. This is partly because I've been busy with moving-related stuff, but also because I was without internet for the first few weeks in my new place. While I think complaining is generally a poor use of a blog, this was very frustrating, so please permit me to rant for a moment:

I called Verizon (which is the local phone company in DC) to switch my DSL service from my prior address to my new place. Once I identified my new address, the call went something like this:

Verizon: Sir, I'm afraid service is not available at that address.

Teague: Really? Can you double-check the address? I know it's available there, other people in the building have Verizon DSL.

V: There may be wiring in the building, but there is no more service available.

T: No more available?

V: That's right, I'm sorry. No more capacity. But I can email one of our engineers and see if they can do something. They can't always, but sometimes they can free something up.

T: Uh, okay. Sure.

V: It might take them a couple hours to get back to me.

I then checked the other regional DSL provider; they don't serve my neighborhood. And I confirmed that because my building is wired for satellite TV, Comcast is not an option. So it was Verizon or nothing. After not hearing back from them all day, I called again:

Different Verizon rep: I don't see any record of your previous call in the system. But yes, service is not available at your address.

T: But the rep I talked to earlier said she was going to check with the engineers. Can you check on that?

V: Sir, there aren't any engineers we can talk to.

T: Well, she said she was going to check with the engineers. I'd definitely like to see if there's a workaround, because I really want to have internet at home.

V: Sir, I hate to say somebody was lying to you, but there aren't any engineers. We don't have any way to talk to any engineers, they're a separate unit. Maybe that person was just telling you that to finish up the call.

T: Uh, okay. I don't have access to RCN or Comcast, so Verizon is my only option. You're telling me there's no way I can get internet?

V: Sir, it's like a parking lot -- all the spaces are full. There's nothing I can do. You could check back in a few months to see if a space has opened up. But to be honest, Verizon is putting most of its resources into expanding its FiOS network, so you'd be more likely to get FiOS than have a regular DSL spot open up.

T: When might we get FiOS?

V: Oh, well, I can't really provide any predictions about that. If you want internet access now, you could sign up for a home phone line with dial-up or Verizon's 3G mobile internet.

T: Neither of those sound very good to me.

V: Well, is there anything else I can help you with today?

T: I'd like to get internet.

V: Well, I'm sorry sir, there's not anything I can do. Have a good day, and thanks for choosing Verizon.

Anyway, I've now worked out a WiFi sharing arrangement with a neighbor. But it seems ridiculous that Verizon would be unable to offer DSL service in a well-established neighborhood in the heart of Washington.

Settling in

Here's the view from my new apartment -- this window is in my bedroom, next to my desk. You're looking south toward the center of Mount Pleasant, which is just beyond the larger apartment buildings.

I've been here for almost a month now, and really like the new place so far. Still have a list of things to do before I'll feel completely settled in, but it does feel like home.

Meanwhile, I went to visit Matt and Risa in Greensboro a couple weekends ago, which was lovely. While spring was still tentative in DC at that point, it had definitely sprung there. But we've caught up, and today felt quite summery in DC -- I took a weekend bike trip to Harpers Ferry, WV with some friends from work, and I got quite sweaty on the ride back to DC today, with temps in the 80s. (The local snakes were enthused with the warm weather...seems like we stopped every few miles to look at one sunning itself on the C&O towpath.)

Home haiku

I formally became the owner of a condo today, which is very exciting and slightly scary. It's in Mount Pleasant, only a few blocks from where I've been living. I love the neighborhood, which is quiet and leafy, but also near all the urban amenities. I move on Thursday, and will probably post a couple pictures at a later date.

Because I realized that I would not be able to smash a bottle of champagne across the bow of my apartment and roll it off the dry dock into the water, I gave some thought yesterday to a proper ceremonial christening of my new place. I decided to move my Magnetic Poetry kit into the apartment first thing after getting the keys and compose a poem in recognition of the occasion. I mentioned this plan to three different people, and two of the three said "Ooh, ooh, a haiku?" -- which I wasn't specifically planning on for the format, but it seemed a good fit:

Moving Miscellany

Sigh -- I hate moving. Every time, my reaction is "How could I possibly have so much junk?" And now, I'm moving to a much smaller place with very little in the way of storage, so it's forcing me to think a bit more carefully about what I actually need. I've already donated/recycled/thrown out several hundred pounds of stuff, and this weekend I've been juggling Craigslist buyers for some of the bulkier things, like the futon in the basement. As for moving the things that I'm holding onto, a big step for me: I've hired movers because I ended up having to move on Thursday, and am loathe to cajole friends to show up for uncompensated manual labor after work. At least this way, none of my friends will end up being crushed by the sleeper sofa while trying to heft it up to my third-floor apartment.

Craigslist is always an adventure. A lady who bought my chair and ottoman said that she recently sold something on Craigslist for $500 and the buyer tried to pay her with $500 of Starbucks gift cards. And some of my email interactions with potential buyers make me despair for the state of written communication. Missives along the lines of "im looking 4 futon how is it would you take $40" not only make it hard for me to take you seriously, but can also make it legitimately difficult to figure out what you are trying to say.

Also, a squirrel ran into the back yard this afternoon carrying an entire doughnut in his mouth. Perhaps he snuck into the post-worship coffee hour at the church up the block. He lugged the doughnut with him up onto the top of my (soon-to-be-disposed-of) car -- I think he was looking for a safe place to stash it.

Oh, and that reminds me of a squirrel I saw outside work last week: He found a discarded paper napkin, which apparently smelled enough like food that he wanted to take it with him. He proceeded to stuff as much of it as he could into both cheeks, but it didn't all fit. There was a big bulge of white napkin hanging out below his mouth, and as he ran away he looked like a squirrel wearing a fake Santa Claus beard. (I tried to get a picture, but failed.)

Doughnut authority

After fellow-Doughnut-Quester Alex sent a report on his visit to the Brindle Room (verdict: very good), I tried Googling "best doughnuts in NYC." Doughnut Plant was first on the list of search results, as it should be. But I noted with satisfaction that our Doughnut Quest 2010 report was the 10th search result! Yep, looks like we're noted authorities on doughnuts.

Pink and blue

I was in Target this evening, and found myself in the pharmacy section, looking at earplugs. (I don't need earplugs, so why this happened isn't clear.) These two packages were on the shelf:

I saw the bright pink package and asked myself, "What makes a set of earplugs specific to women?"

"Probably the fact that they're pink," answered a cynical part of my brain. And then I noticed the package to the right, which looks pretty much identical, but they offer "XTREME" protection and have a somewhat macho name. And they're blue.

A glance at the back of the package makes it clear that they're made by the same company, and are almost certainly the exact same product in different colors. The kicker, of course, is that the women's version is $4.19, while the male version is $3.79.

(This isn't quite as egregious as another pair of gender-specific Target products that I noted on Facebook a while back, the boy and girl cookie molds seen below. Note that where the boy has a "#1" trophy, the girl has a handbag. Sigh.)

She blinded me with...

This new set of cookbooks, Modernist Cuisine, seems to have a number of very useful reference materials, but they're inconveniently trapped within what appears to be several tomes' worth of a very strange ideological framework.

A not atypical recipe step reads “Cavitate in an ultrasonic cleaning bath for 30 minutes."

Parts

A package of chicken gizzards and hearts (well, okay, mostly gizzards) was abandoned on a random shelf in Giant, away from the meat section. Perhaps the potential buyer was disheartened when s/he noticed the disclaimer about gizzards?

Around DC

While syncing my phone for a long-overdue software update, I uploaded a few pictures I've taken with it around town over the last few months.

Songs of the Moment (An Occasional Feature)

> Talking Heads - I'm Not in Love
> LCD Soundsystem - I Can Change
> Crystal Castles - Vanished
> Uncle Tupelo - Graveyard Shift (and here's them performing the song on local TV in 1989)
> Con Brio - Gibberish
> Arcade Fire - We Used to Wait

Check out that video for "We Used to Wait," it's a video capture from an interactive site the band set up, thewildernessdowntown.com. And if your computer is relatively zippy, go try out the site yourself -- it uses Google imagery to make a custom music video for you based on the address at which you grew up. Very cool.